Chastity prayer to St. Joseph, and what chastity is

What chastity is, and what it is not

For many men the word sounds like a list of prohibitions and a guilty conscience. The Catechism describes something else. “Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being” (CCC 2337). It is not about despising the body or pushing sexuality down. It is about sexuality belonging to you, instead of running a separate life alongside you.

The Catechism speaks of the integrity of the person. “The chaste person maintains the integrity of the powers of life and love placed in him,” and this integrity “tolerates neither a double life nor duplicity in speech” (CCC 2338). If you struggle with porn, you know the double life well: the reliable guy by day, the phone at night. Chastity means those two becoming one man again.

Freedom, not compulsion

Chastity requires self-mastery, which the Catechism calls “a training in human freedom.” It puts it plainly: “either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy” (CCC 2339). A man who follows every impulse is not free. He is dependent.

As means, it names “self-knowledge, practice of an ascesis adapted to the situations that confront him, obedience to God's commandments, exercise of the moral virtues, and fidelity to prayer” (CCC 2340). And it has no illusions: “Self-mastery is a long and exacting work” (CCC 2342), and chastity grows “through stages marked by imperfection and too often by sin” (CCC 2343). A man who falls is not out of the race. More on that in Confessing the same sin over and over.

Chastity is for married men too

A common misunderstanding is that chastity is for priests, religious and single people. The Catechism says: “All the baptized are called to chastity,” each “in keeping with their particular states of life” (CCC 2348). “Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence” (CCC 2349). Engaged couples are called to live chastity in continence (CCC 2350).

For a married man this does not mean holding back from his wife. It means faithfulness and self-giving that are not displaced onto images and fantasies. The Catechism says pornography “perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other” (CCC 2354). So in marriage it is not a private matter either.

A gift, not only an achievement

Chastity is not willpower alone. The Catechism calls it a moral virtue, and also “a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of spiritual effort” (CCC 2345). That takes some weight off. You do not have to force it alone; you may ask for it and practice it. It also calls chastity “a school of the gift of the person” (CCC 2346) and says it “blossoms in friendship” (CCC 2347). A friend you can be honest with belongs right in the middle of this. The practical side is in Accountability partner.

Prayers for chastity

A prayer is not a magic formula. The Catechism calls it superstition to attribute the efficacy of prayers to their mere external performance, apart from the interior dispositions they demand (CCC 2111). Prayer is a relationship. But set, traditional prayers can help exactly when your own words run out.

The prayer to St. Joseph for purity

The best-known traditional prayer for chastity is addressed to St. Joseph. It appears in the Raccolta, the official collection of indulgenced prayers. The 1943 English edition (no. 435) gives it this way:

Saint Joseph, father and guardian of virgins, into whose faithful keeping were entrusted Innocency itself, Christ Jesus, and Mary, the Virgin of virgins, I pray and beseech thee through Jesus and Mary, those pledges so dear to thee, to keep me from all uncleanness, and to grant that my mind may be untainted, my heart pure and my body chaste; help me always to serve Jesus and Mary in perfect chastity. Amen.

The older 1910 English Raccolta (no. 304) has a slightly different translation that begins “Guardian of virgins, and holy father Joseph.” The Latin original starts “Virginum custos et pater, sancte Ioseph.” Pray it slowly, once in the morning or when you notice the evening getting hard.

The Litany of St. Joseph

The Litany of St. Joseph takes a few minutes. You can pray it on an evening when you feel it getting difficult. Among its invocations, in the wording of the 1910 Raccolta, are “Chaste guardian of the Virgin,” “Joseph most chaste” and “Guardian of virgins.” Pope Francis added seven new invocations in 2021, so current booklets may differ slightly from older ones.

The St. Joseph cord

There is also an old custom of wearing a cord in honor of St. Joseph. According to the 1908 Catholic Encyclopedia, it goes back to the healing of an Augustinian nun in Antwerp in 1657, which “gave rise to the pious practice of wearing it to obtain the grace of purity through his intercession.” Pope Pius IX approved a special formula for blessing the cord in 1859, and the confraternity was raised to an archconfraternity in 1862. Members wore a cord with seven knots and prayed seven Glory Bes daily in honor of St. Joseph. If you want one, ask your parish whether a priest can bless it for you. A similar devotion, the cord of St. Thomas Aquinas, is spread today by the Angelic Warfare Confraternity, run by Dominican friars. Either cord is a sign and a prayer, not an object that works by itself.

Short prayers for the hard minute

• A psalm verse, the one that opens the Liturgy of the Hours: “O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me.” It comes from Psalm 70.
• The Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” The Catechism traces it back to the plea of the blind men in the Gospels (CCC 2616). You can say it in the rhythm of your breath.
• A Hail Mary. Some men pray three Hail Marys morning and evening for purity. That is a widespread pious custom, not a commandment, and it comes with no promised effect.

Say the prayer while you stand up and change rooms. Prayer and action belong together. On the faith path, Consurgam offers short prayers during the emergency minute, if you want them.

Chastity in everyday life

What follows is practical advice from experience, not Church teaching. Chastity is rarely decided in one dramatic minute. It is decided in the small turns before it:

• Your eyes: Do not take the second look. Stop scrolling when you notice where it is heading.
• Your phone: Not in the bedroom at night. Use blocks that slow you down without spying on you: How to block porn on iPhone.
• Your body: Enough sleep, exercise, and not sitting hungry and exhausted alone in front of a screen.
• Your people: A friend, a regular confessor, a community. Loneliness can make everything harder.
• Your prayer: A small fixed time in the morning, even if it is only two minutes.

Chastity is not a state you reach once and then own. It is a road on which you are allowed to ask for help: from God, from St. Joseph and from other men.